What To Do With A Phone Book

I have a lot of phone books laying around my house. It feels like every time I turn around (ok, once a year) I’m receiving more phone books. I just received this year’s books. They sat on my porch for I don’t know how long before I felt bad being the only house with its phone books still outside its door. I’ve managed to bring them in as far as the living room. Now they’re on the floor, still in their bright orange bag. The other night, as I stared at the bag thinking, “I should really move that out of the floor and place it somewhere else that’s not the floor,” (it’s still there) I got to wondering what one uses phone books for anymore. I know they are to look up phone numbers and I appreciate their existence, but normally when I need a phone number, it is faster and easier for me to just look it up online. A lot of places and people now prefer you e-mail them instead of call anyway. Phone books now seem like they should be used for things other than phone numbers. Here’s what my brain thought of while staring at my brand new 2011 phone books in their orange bag on my living room floor.