Get Real! The April 1st Post

Okay, so like, I’ve just realized that I’m not too far from being that dreaded 30-YEARS-OLD!! Ahhhh! Where did the time go?! OMG. So, in light of this little revelation, I’m going to start living my life by this motto: Get Real! Yes, it’s time that I start living REAL. Really. So, I’m just going to be all kinds of honest with you from now on. I mean, I’m not even going to go back and edit my blog posts any moarrr, b/c this is me and this is real. Really. Spel mistacks and all.

Anyway, whatever, so the first thing I want to get real about is RELATIONSHIPSSSS! OMG! This love stuff has to be the most COMPLICATED yet wonderfully horrible thing in life! I mean, I don’t know why it has to be so hard. All I want is a guy who can rock a Speedo like David Beckham with a face like Brad Pitt (when he’s not looking like a freakin’ hobo that is) and abs like that guy in the movie “300” (the ONLY reason to watch that movie, lolz) who pays me attention 24/7 with text messages, phone calls and declarations of his undying love for me on my facebook page like at least three times a day in addition to the mandatory face time. If he could cook that would be a bonus, but I’m not picky. I dunno why I’m having such bad luck lately. I mean I did make eye contact with this cutie in line at starbucks the other day. I did my normal routine ‘o seduction where after initial eye contact, i ran my tongue along my top teeth with my mouth closed. Then I pulled out the big guns by licking my lips alot. Guys always find that sexy. It makes my lips feel chapped though so I pulled out my cherry chapstick and rubbed that on my lips all while maintaining eye contact with the hottie as if to say “yeah baby, my lips are chapped for you.” It must have really turned him on because he left before he even picked up his espresso. WHATEVER so guys are so confusing! I just wish there was something where you could like hang out with your bff girl friend all the time and not have to worry about boys. Girls are better at snuggling anyway. I dunno what you’d call that though, oh well LOLZ!!!

So speaking of guys, OMG yall I almost got KILLLED in a car wreck today!!! So lucky to be alive this idiot decided to keep on going through the YELLOW light when I was trying to make a left turn I mean don’t people know that people gotta make left turns usually on the yellow light when the road is busy omg. I started to turn and fortunately instead of just slamming on the gas to quickly make that turn and avoid getting hit I slammed on the brakes cause that’s what you should always do when someone is about to hit you and i just screamed cause i didn’t know what to do but the other car slammed on brakes too but was going to fast but fortunately swerved to not hit me. The NERVE of some people! gah!

Anyway, sooo almost dying still didn’t fix my other problem that i’ve been dealing with here lately though you would have thought that it would considering certain sayings in this life. Alright since I’m “getting REAL”with yall, i’ll just go ahead and tell you I have been CONSTIPATED for sooo long omg. I don’t know what it is I mean I’ve been eating Fiber One like everyday and even that yogurt that Jamie Lee Curtis is always talking about what is it Activia I think yeah Activia that’s what it is. I mean I eat like three Activias a day. I know cheese is my favorite food that i eat all the time and all but it has never done this! I just hope I’m some place “safe” when this activia and fiber1 decide to work!!! Get REAL!

Anyway, I hope you’re encouraged by this post of mine and will GET REAL in life because it’s too short to not get real. I want to leave you with a little more encouragement by writing some Bible verses because everything in the Bible is always super encouraging!

“Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.” Job 2:7

“Pour out Your indignation on them, and may Your burning anger overtake them.” Psalm 69:24

“You shall eat it as a barley cake, having baked it in the sight over human dung.” Ezekiel 4:12

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35

Okay so anyway, so glad yall joined me to get real REAL. Now I gotta go cause OMG Days of Our Lives is about to come on and I want to find out is Sami can ever live with Rafe/RoboRafe or whatever is going on there with that evil twin robot situation I wonder if I have an evil twin out there what would I do?! and if Jenn is going to get that radiator fixed and who else ends up in the hospital OH THE DRAMMMA!! So keep it get REAL guys!

Super cute sexy pic of me in the bathroom. Thought you might want some eye candy.

PS: Visit me on MYSPACE! lulz 🙂 🙂 🙂